revelation?

The following post was begun over three weeks ago. I chose not to complete it because moments after the hasty composition the feeling just left me and I went back to bed. I also did not want to ramble on about some sex-crazed dream that I had and make this post sound like a contribution to Penthouse Forum. So, for the sake of continuing my foray into the world of bloggery here's my second post.


Once again I am not much into this blogging craze of posting every rampant thought that comes to my brain. This is simply an experiment. What brings me back here however is a dream that I had less than two hours ago. A type of dream that perhaps I've had in more than a few previous occasions. This particular one however brought in a flood of thoughts and emotions when I contemplated its meaning upon awakening.

It is currently 5:15 on a Sunday morning here in Washington state. I can't get back to sleep because I feel a sudden urge to put down my thoughts on paper or ... well, my blog. Don't know if anybody will read this. At this point I don't really care. I just need to preserve whatever's in my head at the moment because moments of clarity like this tend to be rather fleeting and highly transient that one forgets its alarming urgency. Is it an epiphany or moment of revelation? Perhaps because it encompassess everything that I've had a nagging concern about lately. My aloneness in this world.

The dream itself was fleeting as most dreams of women tend to be. Fleeting yet almost real because you wake up feeling disappointed that it was only a dream. A few elements however made this dream stand out from previous ones of the type. I dreamt of two women. The setting was in a church during a sermon.....


That's where I left off. Obviously I did not want to go into detail because after all it was simply a dream. The background setting however still strikes me as odd. I mean why the heck would I be surreptitiously groping a seemingly attractive Asian woman as I stood behind the congregation observing a Catholic mass? Although much of the dream has faded away I do recall there being a second female character who possibly served a similar purpose.

It was apparent however that I was reaching out for a deeper meaning which is why I chose to put it in a blog in the first place. Loneliness could certainly have been a concern but I have a feeling it was something more profound than that. As I ponder further and slip down this slippery slope that I call my psyche I can almost vaguely recall that my concern at the moment was my seeming detachment from life in general. The details of the dream itself were inconsequential. It was the vicarious feeling of a love lost that caused alarm and a feeling that subconsciously I am crying out to be recognized and dare I say it .... loved.